You guys out there are really lovely!
Sorry for not updating - I have been frantically busy and my multitasking skills are poor at best!
Here is a somewhat watered down PM published in Dulwich Life June '07
PoshMum left the emporium, arms piled high with purchases, all in tasteful white. The thrill of the chase was almost better than the kill of the catch – shopping-wise, that is! Nearing the car, she found that she had no earthly means of digging the car keys out of her jeans back pocket, so she bellowed at ChildOne for assistance.
“I’ve just spent the gross national product of
Thank God she had finally got ChildOne into the cricket squad – as the first match was tomorrow she set to, hemming trousers and labelling kit in a blur of Cash’s name tapes and white thread. Two hours (and three skewered fingers) later Phase One of Operation Cricket Match was complete - it was time to instigate Phase Two.
Now, ChildOne really preferred rugby - and while PoshMum had been out to support him all winter long she had loathed every minute. No-one looked good in a wet Barbour, red-nosed nose with cold, rat-tail hair poking out beneath a sodden hat! The deciding moment came when one of her prized pink Hunter wellies got stuck in the mud and her leather Barmah hat blew into the tallest tree – rugby-schmugby - she wanted to be a cricket mum. For two whole summers she had observed the cricket mothers with a wistful eye. There they sat, in pretty summer ensembles topping up their tans in the gentle English sun, or lounging on blankets in dappled shade. They looked elegant, stylish and fun (not cold, wet and miserable) and now she would finally join them! But what to wear? In three deft moves PoshMum had made her sartorial choices – Phase Two was completed!
The following afternoon found PoshMum parked in the lane by the cricket field, laboriously instigating Phase Three (unloading all her cricket ‘essentials’). The mothers arrived to find her swathed in flimsy linen, atop massive wedge-heels, and ensconced in a Cath Kidson camp chair (on a Cath Kidson blanket next to a brand new Cath Kidson picnic basket – with matching cutlery).
“Hi PoshMum! How are you - gosh isn’t this pretty?” said BetaMum, dazzled by the blinding array of flowery accessories (and wondering if PoshMum had some consumer-based form of obsessive compulsive disorder).
“Thank you!” said PoshMum contentedly. But sadly, her contentment proved to be short-lived – she fell off her wedges (and twisted an ankle) attempting to retrieve an elegantly batted four – there were massive grass stains all down the legs of her Nicole Farhi trousers. Rather embarrassingly she knew nothing about the 2007 Cricket World Cup or this summers West Indies Test Match tour, and the elegance of her ensemble was ruined when the afternoon turned chilly (forcing her to seek refuge in BetaMum’s dog hair-covered fleece). But even worse, she found cricket to be truly, mind-numbingly dull; at least rugby had some action and excitement.
‘Definitely a case of the thrill of the chase!’ thought PoshMum mournfully.
